There Is Nothing To Fight

 

In the last two months the small community I grew up in has experienced no less than three attempted suicides, two of which were successful and one that left a young man in an induced coma. Since then a coalition of community members have banded together to form a group called S.A.M.H.I with the view of encouraging members of the community to speak out, confront their problems, find common ground with each other and one Facebook post at a time, destroy the stigma attached to mental health.

When one of the departed mentioned above committed suicide last month it jolted something in my psyche that I did not know existed. To this day I can't describe what that moment felt like, all I can do is speculate that the moment I received the news that a childhood friend had taken his own life my own life was subjected to a new perspective, a new understanding of how fragile the human mind can be. I knew beyond any reasonable doubt that I had the ability to help, if he had come to me for help, if anyone ever came to me for help I would be ready to help them with as much understanding and knowledge as possible. That is the reason for this blog and that is my promise.

Since that day I've spent every waking moment trying to understand what could be causing this pandemic in my own community? How can I learn more about human psychology from my own living room? What can I do to help? The answers to these questions lie between the lines of this blog. All I had to do was confront my own problems to realise it.

 

The problem I had to confront was severe, crippling anxiety. Usually in the early hours of the morning anxiety attacks would take me out of sleep (which is incredibly rare) and throw me into a state of severe panic. My heart would pound out of my chest, I'd be sweating like a gypsy with a mortgage and the only thoughts I could manage were thoughts of being anxious. What was causing these attacks? That was the big question I wanted to answer and I didn't want a doctor to tell me the answer, I needed to work it out on my own. "No meds, no counselling... Just understand the problem." That's what I kept telling myself and through perseverance alone I managed to suppress something that could have dominated my life.

I read page after page of internet articles, psychologist journals, asylum reports and even talked about it (anonymously of course, I wasn't ready to speak about it then) on some public internet forums. What I found literally blew my mind. I found some information on the actual chemical makeup of the brain. Specifically a part of the brain called the Amygdala. (And no it's not the one from the movie Waterboy, although it is similar.)

The Amygdala is responsible for an umbrella process called emotional learning which means it handles fear, anxiety, depression, PTSD, hyperactivity and even hypersexuality. (Yep, that's you sex addicts, listen closely. The morning horn is a real thing.) What I found led me to specific information on how the body and the mind reacts to anxiety. When an anxiety/panic attack kicks in your Amygdala is releasing too many chemicals for your body to handle, that's why you shake and lose your breath. Your body is in safe mode and your mind is trapped in limbo, it's trapped in a phase we refer to as, "Fight or flight." This boils down to a simple decision; do I attack this problem head on, or do I run? Think of this like you were in an actual physical fight with someone, adrenaline kicks in and you decide in a split second if you're going to attack this person or run away from them. That fleeting moment is your, "Fight or flight."

The reason an anxiety attack is so frightening is because your mind wont let you make this decision and there's a simple reason for this: There is nowhere to run and there is nothing to fight.

Let that sink in for a moment. I know it's terrifying to think like that but it's actually the most positive situation you can ever be in. You can't run because you can't run away from your own mind, wherever you go, it will follow. But what about fighting? What are you really trying to fight? There is absolutely nothing to fight. There is absolutely nothing physically dangerous about an anxiety attack. It's scary, but it will never harm you. It physically cannot harm you. That is the most important thing to remember if you ever feel like one of these moments is just around the corner, you don't have to run... because there is nothing to fight.

Thanks for reading, until next time.

Glen Armstrong.

Walk into an empty room

WALK INTO AN EMPTY ROOM

Have you ever?

Growing up and becoming an adult can become difficult at times for many people.

How do I look today?
How do I feel today?
How do I present myself today?

The fear factor of walking into a room an feeling empty has been the cause of many insecurities and feelings of dissatisfactions towards life in general. That lost and daunting feeling of walking into an empty room, have you experienced it? how many times have you walked into an empty room.. surrounded by people being mentally sad but physically happy.. a smile can hide a thousand thoughts. A society that demands you to be a certain and particular type of person, be this way and don't do that.. you will become one of them types of people.

Dare to dream, your dream will become a lost cause of what could've been.. you're only a success if you can dedicate yourself enough to get that precious C they said at a young age were you haven't even began to make life choices, travel, fall in love, meet new friends and find out the difference between a friend and an associate.. that feeling of being a failure before you've begun, feeling empty entering the door of a room filled with people who are successful, they've received their C and went onto better themselves, you wont succeed.. you'll have to pay tax, pension for when you're older.. you know all the crucial information that we aren't taught, you must just pay and ask no questions.Questions get you hurt, don't do it!

Them shoes aren't nike, do you even have a job? you should've got that C.. you maybe could've afforded them nikes.. that spot on your face do you even wash? can you not afford shampoo or our you not conditioned enough.. run away, don't stand still run.. go on its for the better!! its your personality that counts don't we all love a personality, its the hiding factor behind the looks.. oh wait your looks, you don't compare to the billboard of that 6 packed body building guy who has it all going for him just look!!.. but that C if only, that C would get you that beautiful home with a selection of cars, VIP entrance to become luxurious enough to sit beside the other successful people with that invaluable C..

throughout my life, I have like many other people you see and talk with daily faced challenges that I've had and still currently overcoming. I above gave my stance on certain experiences and feelings which I felt within myself. these are times that I have overshadowed my own negative thoughts.. not easily getting on with the demanding life we live. Through speaking out, valuing my own voice and allowing people to have their opinions of me ( which they are entitled to have) I have overcame several insecurities, barriers and that scary thought of entering a room and feeling empty with yourself. I encourage you to speak out, don't live up to an expectation that falsely exists, tare down the mask and present the real person you are. Its OK to feel empty, imagine the greatness that can come from when you start to feel full of everything..

Energy, Happiness, Motivation.


Gareth McCauley.