The limits start with you.

Never limit yourself, we live in a limitless world with endless possibilities.

Stop!!

Look around you, what do you see? what is your mind thinking?

Perspective can be the difference between you recognising opportunities or closing down greater possibilities.

insecurity, self doubt and lack of ambition.








Insecurities are a significant factor behind why many people don't succeed, believe in themselves or demand more from their surroundings and environments.

Who are you defeating?.. yes you're defeating no other person but YOU!

I have spoke before about insecurities and the feeling of not feeling good enough surrounded by people smiling, while inside you are lost.. what did I do? I changed me, began to value myself and committed to venturing into who I am as Gareth McCauley.

"Sometimes you've to decide if you're going to turn the page or close the book"

Set goals, step forward, learn to look back to learn.. look back to realise your own self worth.
Did you ever value you? ask yourself that question..

Are you smiling or are you dwelling?

Continue to smile and allow this feeling within you to build and be your motivation.

Don't dwell.. DO!

As life goes on, you experience life differently each day without realisation. You meet new people, walk by a lot and maybe find out something you hadn't of known yesterday. People come into your life and people leave.. each person has a lesson for you to learn from. Be encouraged.

"Self doubt - the ultimately confidence destroyer of many human beings alive today"

If you don't believe you can do something then who will believe it for you? I personally, have had countless experiences and struggles throughout my life that have been nothing shy of a disaster all caused by the self doubt conflicted on by myself. The struggles of that thought in your head that tells you, you can't before you've began to attempt.

The solution?
Widen my limits
Change perspective to see the positives in any negative situation
To be optimist in seeing opportunity in every difficulty.

 

 

 

Never say you can't and never give up.

 

 

I would like to take this opportunity, to thank every person who has taken the time to read this blog and various blogs before this. "The Headspace" has been a great success and people have benefited from what myself and others have spoke about.

 

 

Gareth McCauley

Daily questions

Questions you possibly might regularly ask yourself..

- is this city for me?
- am I going to find my ideal job?
- how much do I know myself?
- will I ever travel to different countries?
- why can't I have everything today, instead of waiting?

My perspective -

Belfast is my home city. I have my friends in which I need (that took a while to understand) I have my family which I am privellged to have and don't take having that for granted..

Opportunity is around me daily through who I choose to speak with, what I decide to do with myself and how I want to be feeling..

Dwell or Do?

Dedication, commitment, hardwork, listening to people around you and take things on board are just some key things which have helped and I have gave to be in the position I am in today.

Everyday is a new beginning, which means opportunity and with that follows potential success, glory and self improvement.. attitude is the essential influencer amongst each day.. "if you do what you always did, you'll get what you've always got"
a small change could be the additional piece to the development of you, which you've been trying so hard to better.

Maybe today you've got all the things you need, but you want more? You want to step outside your needs and grasp onto your wants.. I want, I want, I want.. as you know it becomes exhausting.
Value what you've got around you, who you are, where you've came from and the best part let it all influence and impact upon you in the best way.

Travel? Explore the world, you don't necessarily have to leave your home city forever to be happy, but from my perspective as I'm sharing with you.. it can and surely will change how you look at the world, people and yourself.. don't run away from your issues/problems/insecurities they follow you regardless of location..

Face don't fear.

You Matter Too

You matter too 

Mental health is becoming a popular subject to discuss. As many people are more open and willing to talk about how they feel inside. A lot of people talk about the different aspects of mental health such as depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts and panic attacks.

I believe this is a really positive thing as in modern day society more and more people are openly suffering from poor mental health. In many ways reading about others experiences can help people come to terms with their feelings and how to embrace their mental health. That's just it, mental health is personal and no two people are the same. Every person can experience different traumas and triggers, personal reasons as to why they may develop poor mental health.

Attempting to talk about mental health from a female's perspective can sometimes meet some judgement for example "girls are just more emotional, girls open up more" However one aspect of mental health that I believe is seriously overlooked is the issue of dealing with a parent or family member who suffers with a psychological disorder. Whether this is a major psychological disorder such as schizophrenia or something along the lines of depression, anxiety and panic attacks the perspective of a family member or child can be very important. It's often the people close to us to get the brunt of the "bad times" and then are expected to be perfectly ok during "the good times".

Mental health is a rollercoaster.

Speaking from my own personal experience I have known what it is like to live with a parent who suffers from poor mental health, the highs, the lows, the breakdowns and everything inbetween. I think it's safe to say that sometimes we can feel like a lot of pressure is put on us when having to deal with other people's mental health. My main struggle is the battle between "being there" and then the buildup of stress that becomes too much. Opening up about this can be hard as you feel like you have to be there for that person but sometimes it is just too much. They want you to listen to everything they have to say or have been upset about however, when it comes to your opinion they don't want to hear it.

As we all know someone who suffers with depression can be irrational and they tend to see things only from their own point of view, no-one else is in the equation. Yes I will say what we all want to say but can't, they become selfish. Through no fault of their own this tends to happens and then comes the constant battle of being angry with them but knowing deep down that they don't really mean it. I know I don't speak for everyone but that I feel this is my hardest battle to conquer with my own family as I constantly fight with myself over it.

The breakdown of a family after or alongside mental health issues with a parent or family member can feel like your whole world is crumbling as you try to hold all the pieces together. I can admit there has been times I have had breakdowns with my own mental health because it all just became too much I felt I was put in the middle and I know I did not sign up for that role. One thing I have learnt in the last five years is that sometimes parents are so wrapped up in her they are feeling that the family can forget how much this all affects the kids too. That hurts, I know that. Feeling like your voice is not heard or worse that no-one cares to hear your voice. So how do we deal with it? When it all gets too much? being the middle man, sometimes having to he the parent instead of the child."sometimes the truth hurts"We all hear the same things from friends and other people we confide in "why don't you just ignore them?, don't answer the phone, tell them you aren't listening anymore".
Now, I know for myself that it feels like it is easy for other people to say these things because they don't deal with the consequences but in the last few weeks I've realised a lot. We don't have to do these things if we don't want to but it gets to the point where you have to do something, sometimes there has to be a talk that may lead to an argument. Sometimes you have to stand your ground for a few days to let that person see that you feel there needs to be a change and sometimes you have to fight, fight for yourself and your own sanity. We don't want to hurt the people we love but if we feel like we are past the point of return we have to firstly help ourselves. The outcome may not always go the right way, it may take a while but there will come a point where your voice will be heard and they will listen. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel and there will be hope for change. Be strong, stand your ground, have that talk, cry, scream do what you have to do let it out of your system and get the point across because YOU MATTER TOO. I can't say that it will stay this way forever as we all know that "rollercoaster" is up and down and sometimes we feel like we go around and around in the same cycle but you will notice some sort of change whether it is a small or big amount no one knows because each situation and family are different.

We love our parents and family, we would do anything to help them but I realised after five years of the same cycle that I had to make a change for myself. Sometimes those words that we think will tear them apart need to be said and it will be ok. I realised that it took standing my ground and potentially hurting my parent to make them realise that they were hurting me. Things will get better, always remember that even though it may seem a bit crazy you're aiming towards a positive outcome for yourself and then everyone.

Written by
Seánna Davison

“Life's a bitch and then you die"

“Life's a bitch and then you die"

The first time I heard this saying it constantly played on my mind. I must've been no older than 10 and could only describe myself as a care free, happy go, lucky kid with a good attitude towards life. But not long after hearing that saying things started to go a little downhill for that 10 year old boy.

I moved to a new house, completely removed from my friend circle. I became a recluse, never setting foot across the door and never making friends... So I started to think to myself

“Maybe life really is a bitch”.

Throughout my teenage years I evolved into the person I am now, but that saying stuck with me, to think that currently I am a very social able person with great friends and an amazing girlfriend still had this mind set, life's a bitch and then you die.

I started thinking about it differently, no matter what you do in life it means nothing in the end because you just vanish of the face of the earth. I grew up quickly and matured quite early, and like most people I had this idea in my head that the key to happiness is to go school, do well, then go to university and get a great job to do for the rest of my life which at the same time you grow old happily with a great pension behind me. It all seemed pretty straight forward and easy in my head..

When I turned 16 I got my first job while still in school, I hated it. In fact I’ve hated every job I had, all 8 of them. That made me thinks about life when I'm older, if I kept quitting these pointless/easy jobs after a few months how was I supposed to commit myself to a full time job working in and around 40 hours per week with possibly a family to support? School became too stressful and I eventually left in lower 6^th feeling demotivated, after having an argument with a teacher... So that was that, I was no longer going to university and I would have to do low pay, degrading jobs for the rest of my life. I jumped from job to job, content with my average boring life, not thinking much about the future which at this time had no brightness surrounding it. When I was 19 and living with a friend I got offered a great opportunity which to this day was one of the best things to ever happen to me. A youth organisation situated in Belfast offered me the opportunity to enrol on a youth work OCN course.

This was the opportunity that I needed in order to kick start my opinion of myself and encourage me to think better about my future.

My mind set started to generate positively and change dramatically, I learnt many of life essentials which are to be kind, courteous, patient and polite. These simple attributes made a huge change to my attitude towards life…  I was much happier, even if I was working in a job I didn't like I would always think positively because I knew that it was just a stepping stone. I learnt to enjoy the simple things in life like taking a walk up the mountain taken on board the surroundings as I was looking at the beautiful view, playing with my nieces and nephews and spending time with friends and family.

I came to the realisation from that day, a great paying job isn't the key to a happy life... I found out that the key to a happy life is too add positivity to your mind and encourage yourself to see the greatness in anything that was challenging. You learn more about yourself by stepping outside of your comfort zone… Take that step, I have and I haven’t looked back.

Ryan Moorehead.

There Is Nothing To Fight

 

In the last two months the small community I grew up in has experienced no less than three attempted suicides, two of which were successful and one that left a young man in an induced coma. Since then a coalition of community members have banded together to form a group called S.A.M.H.I with the view of encouraging members of the community to speak out, confront their problems, find common ground with each other and one Facebook post at a time, destroy the stigma attached to mental health.

When one of the departed mentioned above committed suicide last month it jolted something in my psyche that I did not know existed. To this day I can't describe what that moment felt like, all I can do is speculate that the moment I received the news that a childhood friend had taken his own life my own life was subjected to a new perspective, a new understanding of how fragile the human mind can be. I knew beyond any reasonable doubt that I had the ability to help, if he had come to me for help, if anyone ever came to me for help I would be ready to help them with as much understanding and knowledge as possible. That is the reason for this blog and that is my promise.

Since that day I've spent every waking moment trying to understand what could be causing this pandemic in my own community? How can I learn more about human psychology from my own living room? What can I do to help? The answers to these questions lie between the lines of this blog. All I had to do was confront my own problems to realise it.

 

The problem I had to confront was severe, crippling anxiety. Usually in the early hours of the morning anxiety attacks would take me out of sleep (which is incredibly rare) and throw me into a state of severe panic. My heart would pound out of my chest, I'd be sweating like a gypsy with a mortgage and the only thoughts I could manage were thoughts of being anxious. What was causing these attacks? That was the big question I wanted to answer and I didn't want a doctor to tell me the answer, I needed to work it out on my own. "No meds, no counselling... Just understand the problem." That's what I kept telling myself and through perseverance alone I managed to suppress something that could have dominated my life.

I read page after page of internet articles, psychologist journals, asylum reports and even talked about it (anonymously of course, I wasn't ready to speak about it then) on some public internet forums. What I found literally blew my mind. I found some information on the actual chemical makeup of the brain. Specifically a part of the brain called the Amygdala. (And no it's not the one from the movie Waterboy, although it is similar.)

The Amygdala is responsible for an umbrella process called emotional learning which means it handles fear, anxiety, depression, PTSD, hyperactivity and even hypersexuality. (Yep, that's you sex addicts, listen closely. The morning horn is a real thing.) What I found led me to specific information on how the body and the mind reacts to anxiety. When an anxiety/panic attack kicks in your Amygdala is releasing too many chemicals for your body to handle, that's why you shake and lose your breath. Your body is in safe mode and your mind is trapped in limbo, it's trapped in a phase we refer to as, "Fight or flight." This boils down to a simple decision; do I attack this problem head on, or do I run? Think of this like you were in an actual physical fight with someone, adrenaline kicks in and you decide in a split second if you're going to attack this person or run away from them. That fleeting moment is your, "Fight or flight."

The reason an anxiety attack is so frightening is because your mind wont let you make this decision and there's a simple reason for this: There is nowhere to run and there is nothing to fight.

Let that sink in for a moment. I know it's terrifying to think like that but it's actually the most positive situation you can ever be in. You can't run because you can't run away from your own mind, wherever you go, it will follow. But what about fighting? What are you really trying to fight? There is absolutely nothing to fight. There is absolutely nothing physically dangerous about an anxiety attack. It's scary, but it will never harm you. It physically cannot harm you. That is the most important thing to remember if you ever feel like one of these moments is just around the corner, you don't have to run... because there is nothing to fight.

Thanks for reading, until next time.

Glen Armstrong.

Walk into an empty room

WALK INTO AN EMPTY ROOM

Have you ever?

Growing up and becoming an adult can become difficult at times for many people.

How do I look today?
How do I feel today?
How do I present myself today?

The fear factor of walking into a room an feeling empty has been the cause of many insecurities and feelings of dissatisfactions towards life in general. That lost and daunting feeling of walking into an empty room, have you experienced it? how many times have you walked into an empty room.. surrounded by people being mentally sad but physically happy.. a smile can hide a thousand thoughts. A society that demands you to be a certain and particular type of person, be this way and don't do that.. you will become one of them types of people.

Dare to dream, your dream will become a lost cause of what could've been.. you're only a success if you can dedicate yourself enough to get that precious C they said at a young age were you haven't even began to make life choices, travel, fall in love, meet new friends and find out the difference between a friend and an associate.. that feeling of being a failure before you've begun, feeling empty entering the door of a room filled with people who are successful, they've received their C and went onto better themselves, you wont succeed.. you'll have to pay tax, pension for when you're older.. you know all the crucial information that we aren't taught, you must just pay and ask no questions.Questions get you hurt, don't do it!

Them shoes aren't nike, do you even have a job? you should've got that C.. you maybe could've afforded them nikes.. that spot on your face do you even wash? can you not afford shampoo or our you not conditioned enough.. run away, don't stand still run.. go on its for the better!! its your personality that counts don't we all love a personality, its the hiding factor behind the looks.. oh wait your looks, you don't compare to the billboard of that 6 packed body building guy who has it all going for him just look!!.. but that C if only, that C would get you that beautiful home with a selection of cars, VIP entrance to become luxurious enough to sit beside the other successful people with that invaluable C..

throughout my life, I have like many other people you see and talk with daily faced challenges that I've had and still currently overcoming. I above gave my stance on certain experiences and feelings which I felt within myself. these are times that I have overshadowed my own negative thoughts.. not easily getting on with the demanding life we live. Through speaking out, valuing my own voice and allowing people to have their opinions of me ( which they are entitled to have) I have overcame several insecurities, barriers and that scary thought of entering a room and feeling empty with yourself. I encourage you to speak out, don't live up to an expectation that falsely exists, tare down the mask and present the real person you are. Its OK to feel empty, imagine the greatness that can come from when you start to feel full of everything..

Energy, Happiness, Motivation.


Gareth McCauley.