If Only It Was Easy As The Quote

Throughout the past year, you may have noticed on my Instagram, I have been posting my own quotes (@garethmccauley). These come from mainly my own experiences, listening to others, observing their movements and attempting to piece together what may be happening with them. It has been fantastic getting such supportive comments from people – mostly through “The Headspace”.
Honestly, it has actually motivated me and made me more determined to continue helping others around me – maybe you have benefited from my postings or blogs? If so, I would love to hear from you.

I would like to share with you, what goes on behind the quote that I have name this particular blog,

“If only it was easy as the quote”

My thinking is, that on a daily basis many people around the world look to others for support, guidance and inspiration. Surely that’s something we would agree on? But how many people actually look to themselves?
 

In recent years, I have made a much needed shift in my own mind-set. This has allowed me to think for myself and believe in who I am. It had guided me to great places, introduced me to even better people and invited some refreshment into my life. However, my journey until this point hasn’t been as easy as it may seem whilst reading the quotes, but they are an example of something that helped me get to this stage.

Quotes are good for the ‘doers’ in the world, the people who take life by the horns and make themselves a priority.
 

I understand that you’re probably shocked to think someone would encourage you to make yourself a priority in your life and you may be one that thinks I’m selfish for doing so in my own life. BUT I don’t want to fall short of my actions due to investing all of my energy, commitment and even time into other people and neither should you. Hence why I suggest you make yourself a priority, imagine the success you could create for yourself if you invested only half of the time in yourself, that you do other people? 

If you think about it... people who often claim that you’re selfish for putting yourself first are the ones wanting you to continue putting them first.

“Take time for yourself and your own self-care”.

 

Life isn’t easy, we’re not always going to be happy and unfortunately that’s the reality. Some may disagree.

Before posting a quote, I have been through many different situations and perspectives. I want to ensure that the person viewing it, is relating to what I say - whether it be to benefit their motivation to think, act and hopefully see things differently. I don’t know who or how it may help, but with hope, self value and self worth, I know what I am doing, will help others.

At times, I do post others material to showcase what often influences me on a day that I may have struggled for energy whether it be physically or mentally. This is the reality of living for not only me, but most of us - not every day will run smoothly and very rare, run how we expect it to. 

Keep your mind open, have the willingness to better yourself and have an attitude that will help you overcome challenges and you WILL come out on top.

Gareth McCauley


 

Questions to ask you –

1.       Do you seek help in other people before helping yourself?

2.       In what environments do you put yourself first?

3.       Would you hold value over your own opinion?

I above, have added something new to my blog -

You can contact me to create a conversation around any of the questions I have asked

Or you can just answer them yourself, write them down and begin to think differently.



Social Media:

Instagram - garethmccauley

Facebook - Gareth McCauley

Twitter - @gmccauley92

You can't break down, you've got to break through

Many times in life, I have broke.. I have I will admit that now.

For me, pushing yourself to breaking point has led me onto some of the best places, allowed me to be around some of the best people in the world and mostly of all... it has gave me a different perspective on what I want from this life I live. Why I talked so positivity about breaking to begin. The key within it all is simple "Don't give up, keep moving forward" it sounds simple, but in reality it can be hard to recognise at your time of breaking point that You Can.

What does it take until you break? When I reflect on times in my life when I have struggled, became drained and mentally (which I wasn't aware of) damaging myself. It indicates to me that I wasn't listening to my mind/body and what it was telling me. At times in your life you need to stop, from running yourself down and additionally making yourself worse in situations or environments you find yourself in.

"You can't break down, you've got to break through" Instagram - garethmccauley

This quote was uploaded by myself to my instagram, it reflects my thoughts and the message I am trying to get across to you. The message is this, no matter what your current situation or circumstances are they will change, they will be different through time. However you are the controller and the person who can't break down, you've got to break through. What if the change is just a day away, or even close as an hour away but you gave up? you just never know.

I said above, you are the controller. You have to ask yourself the question of - Do you believe that you can control your current situation? If the answer is yes then get on with things and start to put the right things in place, the correct decisions you've got to make.. to make the situation better. If the answer is no, then I would be also asking who has the power? the power to your emotions, what's your perspective and to consider your daily habits (which you can refer to in the daily habits blog I wrote previously) I am a true believer in optimism and the power of positivity - I believe that situations/events and circumstances can evolve into greater things, but amongst it all I can decide how I feel, see and what opinion I choose to have.

"You can't waste time. You've only got one life to live"

Imagine the luxury you would have in life, if you woke up on a daily basis and thought I only have one life to live. Or do you take life as we call it for granted? Life can be a long time or a short time, we just never truly know do we. By allowing other people to decide your life for you, you're only wasting time. Valuable time at that. The simplicity of it is how you look at it, if you take life for granted then of course you are going to break all the time, you will not feel fulfilment and most importantly for you, you will surely not live a happy life. You decide.


I have shared this blog with you, sharing some of my opinions and perspectives on life. I always say that I would love to hear from you, we can create a chat and have a conversation around anything you may agree, disagree or want to explore further. The Headspace was created as a platform for people to hear from others, ask themselves questions and give yourself space amongst your busy day to day life. To stop and acknowledge things going on in your life and around you.

Gareth McCauley.




Instagram - garethmccauley
Facebook - Gareth McCauley (Belfast)
Twitter - @gmccauley92

You can’t waste time, you’ve only got one life to live.

You can’t waste time, you’ve only got one life to live.

Just stop what you are doing and reflect on what you’ve just read…

Time, health and living are the three things that spring to mind for me when I read that. Time is something that we have a lot of but also very little. As we go about our daily life taken for granted the time we have, but yet we never know the moment.

Health. It’s not all physical as mental is just important if not in some people’s eyes more important. When you wake up what are your thoughts? What are you grateful for? What is your perspective on life? Questions that we tend to forget but can change or affect your thinking or ways of living… I met a woman a few weeks ago and we got chatting. She had just survived cancer and lost her husband while in the process of treatment. I said “ what a great story you’ve got behind you” and she responded with potentially some of the best, motivational and inspirational words possibly. She said this “You’ve got to keep going, you won’t get far dwelling” isn’t that just incredible. 

I am motivated by people around me – friends, family, social circles. But I really do enjoy meeting knew people, ones who don’t know me by name but once we start to talk inspire we with words. This was another fantastic person with an amazing story that put the context of life into perspective for me. I myself am my worst critic - Huge elements of self – doubt that I fight on a weekly basis, Perfectionist who is someone who always wants to be better or want better, and with a past that has had many experiences that I have been hurt, angry and upset over. However I strive each day to defeat every negative factor that can influence me or have an impact on my outlook off the world.

Living to me are people who enjoy life to the full. The people who choose to be happy, adventurous, optimistic and just love the life they have. How many people do you know, who just coast through life and not do anything at all or minimal amount. They miss out on many opportunities and don’t want to better themselves. That’s the people who waste time, who don’t appreciate the moment and live the life to the potential that they can. Which person are you? Ask yourself that question.

Ways forward...

3Cs – Chance, Choice, Change. You’ve got a chance to make a choice which could change your way of living for the rest of your life.

 

Facebook & Instagram - Gareth McCauley

You are the creator of your own destiny

"Destiny - The events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or thing in the future"


First question - Are you not happy with the stage in life your at present?

If not, change! To many people continue day by day surfing their way through life. I personally throughout many stages and have made references to that on other blogs in my life had got caught up doing what I deep down and honestly never wanted to be doing. However.. this feeling was temporary as my destiny was still ahead.. and it lead me onto realising what I really did want!

Today might not be the day, tomorrow could well be that day.. but change is essentially the driving force behind what direction you are going in. For the next few days, ask other people "are they happy with there job, lifestyles etc." and you might just get your eyes open. Yes you will because your not alone and certainly not at your final destination by any means..


That dream job you've gave up on because you've got nothing but the feeling of failure in job after job.. after job is in fact leading you onto the next path, the next test and the next challenge to say ask you a simple question - "How much do you want this". Not just a job it can be translated into many other environments.. Relationships, sports, mental health and whatever else you do with your life that requires you to continually ask yourself questions. What I am saying to you is this..
 
 "YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR OWN DESTINY"

If you ever listen to older/elderly people in society, majority of them will say this. Back when I was your age I wish/I regret not doing or I should've did this when.. seems sad? yes, this could be you in years to come because you haven't took the responsibility or you haven't widened your horizons to do what you want to do with your life?
Believe this is untrue.. ask an older/elderly person and you will get this insight.

As we awake each morning we have a choice. a choice to feel happy, a choice to be motivated and a choice as to how we take on the day ahead.. not just another day on earth!!

Gareth McCauley.

The limits start with you.

Never limit yourself, we live in a limitless world with endless possibilities.

Stop!!

Look around you, what do you see? what is your mind thinking?

Perspective can be the difference between you recognising opportunities or closing down greater possibilities.

insecurity, self doubt and lack of ambition.








Insecurities are a significant factor behind why many people don't succeed, believe in themselves or demand more from their surroundings and environments.

Who are you defeating?.. yes you're defeating no other person but YOU!

I have spoke before about insecurities and the feeling of not feeling good enough surrounded by people smiling, while inside you are lost.. what did I do? I changed me, began to value myself and committed to venturing into who I am as Gareth McCauley.

"Sometimes you've to decide if you're going to turn the page or close the book"

Set goals, step forward, learn to look back to learn.. look back to realise your own self worth.
Did you ever value you? ask yourself that question..

Are you smiling or are you dwelling?

Continue to smile and allow this feeling within you to build and be your motivation.

Don't dwell.. DO!

As life goes on, you experience life differently each day without realisation. You meet new people, walk by a lot and maybe find out something you hadn't of known yesterday. People come into your life and people leave.. each person has a lesson for you to learn from. Be encouraged.

"Self doubt - the ultimately confidence destroyer of many human beings alive today"

If you don't believe you can do something then who will believe it for you? I personally, have had countless experiences and struggles throughout my life that have been nothing shy of a disaster all caused by the self doubt conflicted on by myself. The struggles of that thought in your head that tells you, you can't before you've began to attempt.

The solution?
Widen my limits
Change perspective to see the positives in any negative situation
To be optimist in seeing opportunity in every difficulty.

 

 

 

Never say you can't and never give up.

 

 

I would like to take this opportunity, to thank every person who has taken the time to read this blog and various blogs before this. "The Headspace" has been a great success and people have benefited from what myself and others have spoke about.

 

 

Gareth McCauley

Daily questions

Questions you possibly might regularly ask yourself..

- is this city for me?
- am I going to find my ideal job?
- how much do I know myself?
- will I ever travel to different countries?
- why can't I have everything today, instead of waiting?

My perspective -

Belfast is my home city. I have my friends in which I need (that took a while to understand) I have my family which I am privellged to have and don't take having that for granted..

Opportunity is around me daily through who I choose to speak with, what I decide to do with myself and how I want to be feeling..

Dwell or Do?

Dedication, commitment, hardwork, listening to people around you and take things on board are just some key things which have helped and I have gave to be in the position I am in today.

Everyday is a new beginning, which means opportunity and with that follows potential success, glory and self improvement.. attitude is the essential influencer amongst each day.. "if you do what you always did, you'll get what you've always got"
a small change could be the additional piece to the development of you, which you've been trying so hard to better.

Maybe today you've got all the things you need, but you want more? You want to step outside your needs and grasp onto your wants.. I want, I want, I want.. as you know it becomes exhausting.
Value what you've got around you, who you are, where you've came from and the best part let it all influence and impact upon you in the best way.

Travel? Explore the world, you don't necessarily have to leave your home city forever to be happy, but from my perspective as I'm sharing with you.. it can and surely will change how you look at the world, people and yourself.. don't run away from your issues/problems/insecurities they follow you regardless of location..

Face don't fear.

You Matter Too

You matter too 

Mental health is becoming a popular subject to discuss. As many people are more open and willing to talk about how they feel inside. A lot of people talk about the different aspects of mental health such as depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts and panic attacks.

I believe this is a really positive thing as in modern day society more and more people are openly suffering from poor mental health. In many ways reading about others experiences can help people come to terms with their feelings and how to embrace their mental health. That's just it, mental health is personal and no two people are the same. Every person can experience different traumas and triggers, personal reasons as to why they may develop poor mental health.

Attempting to talk about mental health from a female's perspective can sometimes meet some judgement for example "girls are just more emotional, girls open up more" However one aspect of mental health that I believe is seriously overlooked is the issue of dealing with a parent or family member who suffers with a psychological disorder. Whether this is a major psychological disorder such as schizophrenia or something along the lines of depression, anxiety and panic attacks the perspective of a family member or child can be very important. It's often the people close to us to get the brunt of the "bad times" and then are expected to be perfectly ok during "the good times".

Mental health is a rollercoaster.

Speaking from my own personal experience I have known what it is like to live with a parent who suffers from poor mental health, the highs, the lows, the breakdowns and everything inbetween. I think it's safe to say that sometimes we can feel like a lot of pressure is put on us when having to deal with other people's mental health. My main struggle is the battle between "being there" and then the buildup of stress that becomes too much. Opening up about this can be hard as you feel like you have to be there for that person but sometimes it is just too much. They want you to listen to everything they have to say or have been upset about however, when it comes to your opinion they don't want to hear it.

As we all know someone who suffers with depression can be irrational and they tend to see things only from their own point of view, no-one else is in the equation. Yes I will say what we all want to say but can't, they become selfish. Through no fault of their own this tends to happens and then comes the constant battle of being angry with them but knowing deep down that they don't really mean it. I know I don't speak for everyone but that I feel this is my hardest battle to conquer with my own family as I constantly fight with myself over it.

The breakdown of a family after or alongside mental health issues with a parent or family member can feel like your whole world is crumbling as you try to hold all the pieces together. I can admit there has been times I have had breakdowns with my own mental health because it all just became too much I felt I was put in the middle and I know I did not sign up for that role. One thing I have learnt in the last five years is that sometimes parents are so wrapped up in her they are feeling that the family can forget how much this all affects the kids too. That hurts, I know that. Feeling like your voice is not heard or worse that no-one cares to hear your voice. So how do we deal with it? When it all gets too much? being the middle man, sometimes having to he the parent instead of the child."sometimes the truth hurts"We all hear the same things from friends and other people we confide in "why don't you just ignore them?, don't answer the phone, tell them you aren't listening anymore".
Now, I know for myself that it feels like it is easy for other people to say these things because they don't deal with the consequences but in the last few weeks I've realised a lot. We don't have to do these things if we don't want to but it gets to the point where you have to do something, sometimes there has to be a talk that may lead to an argument. Sometimes you have to stand your ground for a few days to let that person see that you feel there needs to be a change and sometimes you have to fight, fight for yourself and your own sanity. We don't want to hurt the people we love but if we feel like we are past the point of return we have to firstly help ourselves. The outcome may not always go the right way, it may take a while but there will come a point where your voice will be heard and they will listen. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel and there will be hope for change. Be strong, stand your ground, have that talk, cry, scream do what you have to do let it out of your system and get the point across because YOU MATTER TOO. I can't say that it will stay this way forever as we all know that "rollercoaster" is up and down and sometimes we feel like we go around and around in the same cycle but you will notice some sort of change whether it is a small or big amount no one knows because each situation and family are different.

We love our parents and family, we would do anything to help them but I realised after five years of the same cycle that I had to make a change for myself. Sometimes those words that we think will tear them apart need to be said and it will be ok. I realised that it took standing my ground and potentially hurting my parent to make them realise that they were hurting me. Things will get better, always remember that even though it may seem a bit crazy you're aiming towards a positive outcome for yourself and then everyone.

Written by
Seánna Davison